Somewhere between our third straight hackathon loss
Hackcrypt - I have no idea what happened. Feels like a fever dream at this point.
Hackquinox - ig here the presentation wasn’t upto the mark. That’s the only thing that could justify the loss.
Techfiesta - Easily one of the best projects that has ever been made. I have genuinely not heard a single good reason of why we didn’t win (will die on this hill).
in February, I told Romeiro something I don’t think I fully understood at the time:
“Being impressive isn’t the same as looking impressive.”
In real life, people tend to lean toward one half of this. Either they are truly impressive, smart and capable but introverted, not loud enough to be heard, or they are good at looking impressive, talkative and confident, saying things that sound right even when they are not. Because they say it well, people rarely question them (LinkedIn final boss type people).
Ig I have been both of these people at different times in my life, and that taught me something (ig). Being genuinely capable feels important, but it doesn’t mean anything unless you know how to show it. In my limited wisdom, I’ve realized both sides matter, just not equally. It’s probably closer to 65/35 in favor of looking impressive, because the reality is that people can only judge what they can see. You may be doing some actual crazy work, but if you can’t communicate it or present it in the right way, it rarely gets recognized.
INCOMPETENCE CYCLE
Now moving on to something that genuinely scares me, the idea of being incompetent and not even realizing it. Because at least when you know you’re bad at something, you can work on it. But when you think you’re great while actually getting things wrong, there’s no reason to change. And that’s probably my least favorite genre of people, the ones who are so convinced they’re right that it never even crosses their mind that they might not be. It’s like their mind can’t comprehend there’s a world outside their own head.
It almost works like a cycle. You don’t know enough to do something well, but you’re also too stupid to realize that you’re doing it badly. That lack of awareness turns into a weird kind of confidence, which is really just arrogance in disguise, and it stops you from actually listening. You end up listening only to respond, not to understand but only to defend your position on the discussion. So you stay in the same place, just more convinced you’re right than before. And that’s why you see a lot of people, especially older ones, stuck in their ways. It’s just years of the same thinking getting reinforced again and again.
Average?
Now coming back to the title, 6/10. Most people hear a number like that and immediately think “mid,” “below average,” or just not good enough. But I genuinely don’t think being average is as horrible as people make it out to be, because growing up we were always stuck between two completely opposite ideas, fitting in and being different. You were expected to belong, but also somehow stand out at the same time. Be unique, but not weird. Be special, but still accepted by everyone around you. And I think somewhere in that process, “average” slowly somehow became an insult.
the tweet i read sometime back
And honestly, maybe the reason this line stuck with me is some sort of copium where I’m trying to feel less like a failure and somehow reframe it as flexibility. But at the same time, I genuinely do believe there’s something valuable about being adaptive, being able to interact with a wide range of people, people with completely different mindsets, interests, and ways of seeing the world, while also being competitive without feeling the need to prove yourself in every room you enter.
There’s something freeing about being in spaces where people know more than you do or care deeply about things you’ve never even thought about before. It removes this weird pressure of always needing to be “the guy” at something. You can just exist, be annoying (not personal experience), bounce between conversations, and slowly absorb parts of different people along the way.
And I think meeting all kinds of people changes you in ways winning or achieving something alone never really can. You start realizing how many different ways there are to think and to live, and it sorta just pulls you out of your own head a little. There’s a kind of carefreeness in that which only some people really understand.
Conclusion
And yeah, I think this blog ended up being a little different from the stuff I usually write. Less about events or stories and more about how I see people, how I see myself sometimes, or just random thought patterns (3 coherent thoughts a day) that sit in my head longer than they probably should.
space song
I don’t really know if any of this makes complete sense, but I think that’s fine. Most people are just figuring themselves out in real time anyway, trying to stay ambitious without becoming one of those productivity weirdos and trying to stay different without isolating themselves from everyone else (emphasis on the “trying”).
Maybe being a 6’1/10 human being isn’t that bad after all.
6’1 on a good day, 6 feet down on a bad one.